My roller coaster year has been more than a bit extended.
Today I freely admit that I am a bit on the emotional side. Life in and of itself is a bit of a roller coaster. Some years are more bumpy than others. This past year has seems to have had more peaks and valleys than normal, as well as added speed.
While last week was the official start to our summer, this is the day that it all came slamming into me. All the “hurry up and go” squeezed out like the last bit of air in a whoopy cusion… “whoosh humph”. Suddenly I feel deflated.
The past month I have been busy busy busy from conference trips for Rent-a-Dad; kindergarten roundups and preschool registration; end of year physicals; annual foster care paperwork… and so much more. Towards the end of the month I felt it all speeding by fast and faster. I was dodging things I couldn’t control to get a grip on the things that had to happen.
As of today, all the munchkins in my life are currently at home with their parents. There are no deadlines this week and no doctor appointments to rush anyone too. Suddenly I felt a little bit released from the weekly tension May had and yet… there is this hidden tension I had almost forgotten about. Right now I may be out of air but I still have to hurry up for the next round of “hurry up and go”.
Last summer was the worst year of dealing with ants in the last ten years of residency at this house. Most years we would see an ant or two but the last several have gotten increasingly worse. Finally I had enough and called in professionals. It took some time but by this spring we really did notice a big difference.
In the midst of our ant issues, I found termite damage when I went to redo our office as a bedroom for our nephews. I was packing up books when I put my hand through our mdf baseboard. Sigh. It had taken a lot of convincing to get to where I was with that room. Now there was a hold up.
Termites gone… for months but still a holdup with that room. A family member fell on hard times so the money set aside for working on that room got used elsewhere. Then another problem hit, and another. More peaks and more valleys. A year later and that room is still in a state of “on hold”.
In amongst my crazy May scheduling I had squeezed some time to get back boxing up that room. With the boys starting school this August there is more of an urgency to getting that room worked on and set up as their bedroom, a home away from their other home.
Today I feel all that pressure of last year rushing back on top of me. I am a bit exhausted from the way May took its toll on me. Yet I am not at a point where I can jump up and down with any sense of accomplishment. There is still piles and piles of work to be done and only me to do it. So today I ask that my family, and the world, forgive my tired self as I crack a little around the edges. I am more than a bit done but I need a moment to breath and not panic before I put my resilient façade back in place and climb back on that roller coaster called life.